Mr. Star Dim Sum Restaurant

星仔茶餐廳

No. 40-3, Lingya 2nd Rd, Lingya Dist
高雄市苓雅區苓雅二路40-3號
(07)338-3466

Monday-Sunday
10:00am-9:00pm

English friendly: no
vegetarian friendly: yes
average cost: 100-200NTD

Despite the name, this is not a dim sum restaurant as I would define it: no carts stacked with baskets of small goodies, no servers heckling you in aggressively accented English, no accidentally ordering more than you can eat (or afford). It is a Hong Kong restaurant, though. In fact it veers dangerously into "themed restaurant" territory (which almost always means horrible food). The second floor is decorated with all sorts of fun vintage Hong Kong paraphernalia; I might even have photographed some of it, if I were THAT kind of food-blogger. I'm not though.

Having been to Hong Kong twice for visa reasons, and once read a Wikipedia article, I know a little something about Hong Kong cuisine. What with the years of British occupation and whatnot, Hong Kong has a history of very INTERESTING east-meets-west fusion dishes. Think tacky American kung-fu movies, but with food. You'll see what I mean in a minute.

On top of not being English friendly, this place is barely Mandarin friendly. Their entire menu is written in Cantonese, so it makes no sense and ordering food becomes a fantastical lottery adventure. Even the Chinglish is different: 三明治 ("sandwich") becomes 三文治, 巧克力 ("chocolate") becomes 朱克力, 吐司 ("toast") becomes 多士, and 泡麵 ("12¢ instant noodles") is disguised as 公仔麵. If only I'd known that before I ordered them...

Luckily the menu has a few pictures, or I would have been completely lost. I saw this guy on there and instantly knew I had to order it...

Aaaaaaaah. The beautiful monstrosity above is French toast stuffed with red bean and drowned in condensed milk. The red bean filling was really well cooked, and the bread was moist but not soggy. It was sweet, real sweet, but not in a sickening way. Absolutely delicious.

My friend ordered a pork and egg 三文治, and it came in a bag. Just what you want to see at a restaurant, like your dinner has been waiting in a refrigerator since morning.

These sort of sandwiches are common "Western" (I laugh but I'm crying inside) breakfast food in Taiwan, and of course the French toast above would also be nice in the morning. Yet oddly enough, this restaurant only opens for lunch and dinner. An interesting business decision on their part!

The opposite side of their impenetrable menu has a wide selection of interesting and/or horrifying drinks. And so we embarked on another drink adventure!

On the left is my friend's "somethingsomethingsomething fresh milk"; on the right, my "salty lemon seven." The mysterious "fresh milk" drink certainly looked like fresh milk, but it tasted mostly like 7-UP with a subtle undertone of whole cream.

It TURNS OUT that the "seven" in my drink stands for 七喜, which is Mandarin too: Mandarin for "also 7-UP." The "salty lemon" refers to that slice of extremely salty cured lime, assumedly an authentic Hong Kong food(?) item.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

That's all I have to say.

Like I said, the menu mislead me into ordering this bowl of glammed-up instant ramen. It was topped with cheese, which was fun; the quintessential example of peculiar decisions made in Hong Kong kitchens. Unfortunately the cheese was pretty skimpy (that up there is mostly egg), though the soup was good.

But when I was finished with the soup it was still just a bowl of instant noodles... This shit would never fly in AMERICA, dammit. People here seem to think that instant noodles are just another type of noodle, as worthy of respect as udon or pasta. Well, I respectfully disagree!

And here we have dessert! This is 甜不甩. What does that even mean. Well I guess it means 湯圓, or "soup balls", topped with peanuts. Soup balls are like mochi, but different from mochi because they have to be steeped in soup, but really pretty much exactly like mochi. Maybe less sweet. I thought this dessert would be super sugary, but it was sort of... not. I think they skimped on the syrup at the bottom of the dish. Still, it was good. As I always say, one can never go wrong with crushed peanuts!

On taste alone I would probably give this restaurant a 3/5, but I had a really fun time puzzling over the menu, then puzzling over what they delivered to our table. It was a nice break from the ordinary! So if you're in the mood for an adventure, I recommend you pay Mr. Star a visit.

OVERALL RATING: 4/5

Yang Bao Bao Steamed Dumplings

楊寶寶蒸餃

No. 106, Chaoming Rd, Nanzi Dist
高雄市楠梓區朝明路106號
(07)351-3322

Monday-Sunday
11:00am-2:00pm
4:00pm-1:00am

English friendly: no
vegetarian friendly: yes
average cost: 50-100NTD

This place is waaay far away up in the north of Kaohsiung County, just outside Kaohsiung City, so you're on your own as far as getting there. Still, as long as it's in Kaohsiung it's fair game I think. Besides, this place is famous!

Real famous, even. We went at 1:45pm on a Friday, 15 minutes before closing (and they do stop serving food at 2:00pm as advertised), and still had to wait in line. What on earth could all these people be so excited about...?

Well! This place is pretty much all 麵食 ("oily wheaty carbs") like I like: dumplings, pot stickers, and scallion pancakes in a plethora of forms. Plus soup! Unfortunately both their chicken and beef soups had sold out by the time we got there. I was told that these soups are famous, but I was also told that most things on this (admittedly limited) menu are famous so I don't know what to believe. Lots of food around here is famous, have you noticed? One of these days I'd like to get to the bottom of this. Like, is there a magazine everyone reads or something? Entertainment Tonight, but for noodle shops, and stinky tofu stands? And soups?

Speaking of tofu, I got me a little dish of tofu for a starter. It photographed really nicely, didn't it? It tasted almost as nice: extra-firm tofu glazed with some sort of slightly-sweet BBQ sauce. Good and protein-y. But near the end I accidentally mistook the anise for an oddly-shaped bit of tofu and would DEFINITELY NOT RECOMMEND making the same mistake. Bleuuuuuuurgh. For those of you who don't know, anise tastes like licorice and makes you want to vomit on the spot.

This here is their "pork rolled pancake." I am of the opinion that stuff rolled up in pancakes is the consummate form of food, even above food stuffed in other food, so I was really excited when these appeared on our table. The spiralled cylindrical form is satisfying in itself, viscerally (that is a pun that is a pun, oh just look at that pun), and it tasted pretty good too! There was another BBQ-type sauce inside that complimented the whole thing quite well. I don't think the pork was especially flavorful or anything, but the pancake was delicious like all scallion pancakes, ever.

I've found that soup in Taiwan generally comes in one of two flavors: sweet-and-sour, and corn. This is corn soup. It was not as sickeningly rich as that stuff I made from souppowder that one time in my house (but let's not drag my cooking adventures into this), so that was nice. Again, I would classify this dish as "good."

This thing was somewhat curious! What we have here is 烙餅. Apparently the only thing that differentiates 烙餅 from your traditional 蔥油餅 or scallion pancake is that somebody's messed it up a bit, at the cost of an extra 10NTD. Its shredded nature makes it almost impossible to share with others, because every time you pick up a piece in your chopsticks the rest of the damn thing comes along with it.

In a most peculiar turn of events, this thing had no flavor whatsoever. My friend suggested it might be sweet, and I was sure from looking at it that it was going to be salty and oily and awesome, but instead... nothing. We gave it a hearty sprinkling of Taiwanese MSG peppersalt, and by the end I starting dipping it in the sauce for my dumplings, but to little avail. A mess of wheaty disappointment!

I chose their "flower vegetarian" steamed dumplings. They came in a unit of eight, each one stuffed super plump with a mash of yummy green veggies; the skin was thin, with a nice flavor of its own. I was told that this restaurant's (famous!) beef and pork dumplings leak soup when you bite into them. These didn't, undoubtedly because of their veggie character. Still, when dipped in soy+ginger+spicy sauce, they were quite delicious! On the higher end of vegetarian dumplings, definitely.

APPARENTLY this place is SO famous that people outside Kaohsiung know it too. I don't really get what all the fuss is about... It was good, certainly, as well as cheap (yay!), but I wouldn't make the trip again.

OVERALL RATING: 3/5

Andy's Pizza Garden

安迪的披薩花園

No. 273, Yucheng Rd, Zuoying Dist
高雄市左營區裕誠路273號
(07)557-2889

Monday-Sunday
11:30am-10:00pm

facebook: https://www.facebook.com/toaroach

English friendly: overly
vegetarian friendly: yes
average cost: 200-300NTD

The first Taiwanese food blog I opened up in order to copy+paste the pertinent information above (ahem) advertised this place as "高雄老外公認最好吃的家鄉味披薩喔": "widely accepted among Kaohsiung foreigners as the most delicious hometown flavor pizza!" That's what I concluded too, when on a whim this afternoon I googled "Kaohsiung best pizza" in English on The Internet. Well, *I* am a Kaohsiung 老外 too and I'm here to tell you that it is NOT the most delicious hometown flavor pizza in Kaohsiung. It can't be, it just can't.

It is definitely a foreigner's pizza place though: most of the reviews online are in English, as were a majority of the Tuesday night customers.

Their pizza is made by hand and cooked in a brick oven right in front of the shop. Just look at the American neon sign! The quaint pile of chopped wood! How could it possibly go wrong? 

Our first sign should have been the complete dearth of customers when we entered at 6:30pm on a Tuesday...

The do get props for having reasonable prices, and an actually English English menu. I say this place is "overly" English friendly because the waitress, assumedly the hot Taiwanese wife of the charateristic Californian expat owner (for the record all I'm going on here is his purple tye-dye T-shirt), was the type to respond to me in English when I talked to her in Chinese. This kind of behavior really pisses me off, but your mileage may vary.

Though it is Andy's Pizza Garden, we both ordered calzones. WHATEVER. I can no longer make dining choices based on what would be good for the blog. That way lies madness. A calzone is pretty much a pizza anyway, and a very rare creature in Kaohsiung besides. Apparently in Chinese it translates to 披薩餃 or "pizza dumpling", which is adorable.

The name was the best part about it though. I chose the "Niaosong Veggie" calzone, medium, with extra olives. Their menu has a wide selection of additional toppings for minimal extra charge, though they don't have artichoke hearts anymore because "no one orders them" (what did you think I was trying to do?!?) and I don't actually remember any olives ending up in my calizone. SO.

I was promised mushrooms, broccoli, spinach and other vegetables stuffed along with feta cheese (and olives, dammit!) into a lovingly homemade pizza shell; what I got was soggy broccoli, onions, other bland vegetables (maybe just more onions) punctuating giant gobs of tasteless mozzarella cheese inside a tasteless powdery pizza shell. If I hadn't seen feta cheese inside, I wouldn't have known it was there.

My Taiwanese friend ordered a meat calzone, purported to come with ham, beef, pepperoni and Italian sausage. On the Chinese side of the menu only it was marked as "relatively salty." How cute is that! I'm not making this stuff up you guys. It was in fact salty, or should I say sharp, due to the sausage. Overall I liked it more than mine, but it had the same issues I'm about to discuss below.

Ahem! I think the problem with this place is twofold. Number one: the dough. The dough has no flavor of its own, assuming you don't consider "overly floured" a flavor. Yeasty, greasy, flaky, crispy... Really, anything would be better than this powdery mass of disappointment.

I snapped this picture of a calzone baking in the brick oven on the way out. Look how cute and plump it is! (A medium was more than enough for one person, by the way. You won't feel like finishing it anyway.) But also notice its color. That, my friend, is the color of flourpaste.

Number two: the cheese. I am forced to consider that it may just be more difficult to purchase good quality cheese in Taiwan. This place doesn't use pre-sliced orange American cheese from Carrefour, but I almost wish they had... At least that stuff has a cheesy kick to it, chemical induced though it may be. I'm very unused to having consumed such large quantities of melted cheese and feeling so "ehhh" about it. It's almost frustrating, like I've been cheated somehow.

I realize this review is a little harsh, but I can't help it. My expectations were too high going in, and I came out utterly disappointed. I have no desire to go back here again. A shame, because I hear that they sell handmade liquid nitrogen ice cream on weekends.

OVERALL REVIEW: 2/5

Thai Delicious Thailand Burma Restaurant

泰好吃泰緬小館

No. 283, Zhonghua 4th Rd, Qianjin Dist
高雄市苓雅區林泉街92號
(07)715-1175

Monday-Sunday(?)
10:00am-9:00pm

English friendly: yes
vegetarian friendly: doable
average cost: 150-250NTD

Here we have another restaurant with a cute punny name: "Thai" in Chinese can is pronounced the same way as "too", as in, "This restaurant is too good for me to not give it all my stars." If anyone knows of other pun-named restaurants in Kaohsiung, please let me know; I would like to collect the complete set.

The first time we went here for lunch on a Saturday, it was mysteriously closed! Our luck was better on the second try (Monday). You should know that this joint is insanely popular, especially for dinner; I was told that sometimes people line up all the way down the street. Apparently their business is so good that their lunch options are all sold out by 1:30pm, because that's when they started closing up shop... It's an unpredicable place. If you want to eat here, you're going to have to work for it. Make sure to have a back-up plan just in case. 

Their menu has not only entertaining English translations ("Sea Food in Cabbate Root") but also PICTURES, making ordering a breeze. But how on earth will you chooooooose?

I learned an incredibly important thing from my lunch experience here, and that is that Thai 河粉 ("river powder" or rice noodles) are the thick, wide, super greasy 河粉 that I looove so much. Vietnamese 河粉 tend to be thinner and rounder and correspondingly less wonderful. Noodle connoisseurs take note. These noodles were delicious. 

Shrimp cakes! Served with about a teaspoon of clear sweet sauce not visible in the picture. Crispy and flaky on the outside, richly shrimpy on the inside! A hit.

And here we have fried squid in a spicy sour sauce. It was actually spicy (actually spicy), spicy like a warm hug. And the squid! Now I'm no squid expert, but this may have been some of the best squid I've ever had. It was so... hefty. And chewy! And paired with the vegetables and sauce, absolutely delicious.

Last but not least, we ordered this somewhat ominous looking coconut milk chicken and squid dish. It may have the misfortune of resembling curdled milk, but it tasted magical. The sauce was smooth and rich, and had an interesting flavor: not too salty, nor too sweet, but not bland either. (Curious parties are encouraged to order it yourself and find out more.) Best of all, all mixed up in it was more super awesome squid! This one of the first times I've really felt the gustatory benefits of living by a major fishing port.

Each plate costs around 100NTD, but the servings are a bit small so you'll want to order more than normal to balance things out. We ordered four dishes total, and I really can't find anything to complain about with any of them. The owner is an actual Thai and/or Burmese person (also very nice), so their food might even be Authentic Tasting too. 

In conclusion... 

It was... 

Thai Delicious!!!

OVERALL RATING: 5/5

Lemongrass Restaurant

檸檬香茅火鍋專賣店

No. 283, Zhonghua 4th Rd, Qianjin Dist
高雄市前金區中華四路283號
(07)201-0152 ex.53

Monday-Sunday
11:00am-11:00pm

website: http://www.lemon-grass.com.tw/

English friendly: yes
vegetarian friendly: yes
average cost: 250-300NTD

I was originally attracted to this restaurant because it has the same name as this classy Asian fusion place in California that my grandparents like to frequent. Every time someone is shocked that I can use chopsticks, I tell them that my grandparents can too. I mean really. This is the 21st century! 

Spoiler alert: they are not the same restaurant.

It is easily recognized for being giant and orange. The inside is clean, and was practically empty at 1:00pm on a Sunday... Each of the many tables has four individual stoves and a little divider to spare you the horror of looking at the person across from you; once our food came things ended up a little bit cramped, as you'll see from the cramped quality of the following photos.

Ah yes! This place is a hot pot restaurant. Because it is winter now (roflmao), we should all be eating hot pot! How nice for us, that one of a million more hot pot restaurants such as this exists.

Coincidentally, I went to see Hunger Games right after eating here and learned from the subtitles that 麻吉 (májí) is slang for "match." (Because it sounds... the same...?) So up at the top left of this menu you will see that Lemongrass offers you a selection of soup bases to "match" all seasons, not just winter.

All the options with a little green star by the side are vegetarian. Interestingly, only the top five options under the "Vegetarian Main Dish" are vegetarian... I initially thought this was because only the top five fit the Taiwanese Buddhist definition of vegetarian--also excluding salt, spices, and other "strong" flavors--but my friends said it was probably because they were guaranteed "pure" while the others may have come in contact with meat somewhere along the line. I guess that's what the extra 30NTD gets you.

ANYWAY, I think the large variety of vegetarian hot pot options makes this a leading choice among the roiling millions of nigh identical Taiwanese hot pot restaurants, at least for some of us.

I chose the first option, because the waitress came by way before I was done deciphering the menu and seemed a little impatient... This is the "Perilla Greengage Vegetable Dish." I would have translated it instead as plum (梅子) and wild herbs hot pot, if they'd asked me, but alas no one ever does. As you can see, all the fake meat bits are still frozen like popsicles. This time I even got two giant lima beans frozen together...!

Here's another picture for perspective. The spread of ingredients for the vegetarian hot pot was MASSIVE, though later inspection revealed it to be mostly half a head of lettuce.

You have a choice of rice, rice noodles, or all sorts of other noodles (even instant noodles!) for your starch. For your sauce you can get this restaurant's signature lemongrass dip, 沙茶 (shāchá, so named for its resemblance to the word "satay" and not because it has little pieces of tealeaf in it like I used to think...), or a mixture of both. I chose to get both, because I'd already taken forever waffling over my main dish and when I answered, "What sauce would you like?" with a another prolonged "Uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh," the waitress could take no more and decided for me.

The sauce was really good! Flavorful, without being too salty or oily, and definitely unique. We also got free lemongrass tea (hidden in the back of the photo above) which was nicely sweet and unique. 

If you choose the beef hot pot you don't get such a bountiful cornucopia of vegetables...

...but you do get a nice spread of suspiciously red meat. Like regular raw beef, with the saturation levels turned up to maximum.

Here's a picture of things all nice and bubbling. I actually really, really enjoyed this meal. It's rare to get as many fresh vegetables in one meal around these parts, so I think it's worth coming here for that alone.

If I went back though, I would definitely choose a different soup base. Up above I've taken a picture of the "plums" (梅子) for your viewing pleasure. These things are common in Taiwanese cuisine--plum soup is a popular drink, as is plum wine--but they have reputed health benefits so you know something must be up... I really can't get used to the taste: waaay too sour, with the slightest hint of sickly sweet. I once asked a Taiwanese friend why on earth anyone would drink plum soup of their own volition, and he responded, "It's very thirst-quenching," which as it so happens could be said about pretty much every drink ever. The plums didn't affect the soup too terribly here, unless I drank it straight, but all the same. Next time I want to try the "fruit miso" option...

OVERALL RATING: 3/5

Xu Family Steamed Dumplings

許記蒸餃

No. 306, Linsen Rd, Sanmin Dist
高雄市三民區林森一路306號
(07)235-3624

Monday-Saturday 
11:00am-10:00pm

English friendly: no
vegetarian friendly: doable
average cost: 50-100NTD

If you're like me, or like me before I came to this restaurant, you may have never heard of 麵糰 before. That 糰 there is the same 糰 from 飯糰, those little triangles of rice wrapped in seaweed that frequently feature in Japanese anime and Taiwanese 7-11s, and my dictionary tells me it means "dumpling." Whatever you say, dictionary.

This place, which has been open for more than 20 years, is famous for its actual dumplings as well as its 麵糰, which are definitely not dumplings. 麵糰 are also known as 麵疙瘩, or "noodlestuff goosebumps", but I suppose that doesn't get us a whole lot closer to knowing what they are now does it.

Also, curiously, this place is famous for its "imperial milk tea", over there on the left, available to try for the low low price of 25NTD. You don't often see milk tea sold at restaurants like these, so that's pretty special. I did try it, though I don't have a picture, and I thought it was Perfectly Okay. Definitely not too sweet or thick like some milk teas, and with a subtle sense of depth. Subtle, but good.

Ah-ha! Here we are. One bowl of pork chop 麵糰, at your service. As you can see, this dish is magical noodlestuff in a new form: thick, flat, and petal-shaped, similar to 年糕 but with an organic handmade touch. I really liked them. Very thick and very chewy, in the most satisfying way.

I have finally learned to avoid 濃湯 when I don't feel like a thick, blandish, sweet-and-sour-soupish soup, so I enjoyed the soup this time too. Well, mostly I'm just glad it was a liquid... The flavor was still pretty bland. The pork chops were generous, and I'm sure pork chop fans will be satisfied.

Here we have a small serving of 麵糰 in 濃湯, which I think would be vegetarian friendly. At the very least it would be vegetarian in the Chinese sense, defined as "but but there's only a little meat in it?"

And here, their famous dumplings! These dumplings do look pretty good, and are probably distinguishable from those of other places on sight: the skin is extra thick, and has an interesting pockmarked texture to it. But apart from their slightly chewier exteriors, they're pretty much your standard steamed pork dumplings. 

If you haven't tried noodlestuff goosebumps before, I can guarantee you an interesting lunch experience here; I'm just not entirely sure you'll want to come back a second time. Man was not meant to survive on chewiness alone. This restaurant has been afflicted with Taiwanese creeping blandness disease, and the addictive texture of the 麵糰 is not enough to save it in my eyes.

Still, what do I know. Try it out for yourself, and tell me what you think.

OVERALL RATING: 3/5

Tanqiao Japanese Kebab Bar

炭樵日式串燒居酒屋

No. 241, Rende St, Qianjin Dist
高雄市前金區仁德街241號1樓
(07)726-6803

Monday-Sunday 
6:00pm-1:00am

facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sumikikori

English friendly: no
vegetarian friendly: no
average cost: 300-400NTD

This is really just another Japanese BBQ place, but I am always one to take advantage of the opportunity to say "kebab" when presented with it.

Our kebab bar finds itself located in a random alleyway off the main roads, just like I like it. There are no other real restaurants or shops open in the area at night, at least from what I could tell, so it feels like your own little secret. Yours and my little secret, now.

It is not actually blurry in real life! And once again the interior decoration is pretty damn cool, this time going for more of a Japanese pop-art/comic book style, with brightly colored Japanese advertisements and posters plastered all over the four walls. About half of the restaurant (pretty small overall) is taken up by the sit-down kebab bar, and the rest is given over to low tables and stools for larger parties.

Their menu is full of creative combinations of meat and other things, some of which you won't find anywhere else, as well as a nice selection of beers and other alcohols. Take my hand, and let us explore some choice menu options together...

We got three free side dishes for knowing the owner, ho ho ho. Be sure to tell them Kaohsiung Gastronaut Handbook sent you if you go visit. It will definitely get you nothing at all.

Their kimchi, in the upper left, is an incredible triumph of science! It has all the bright redness and sour flavor of Korean kimchi without being spicy at all... modified to suit Taiwanese tastes, of course. The radish and pomelo in sweet syrup in front were really refreshing (I thought they were sliced pears!) and the "drunk" cherry tomatoes in the upper right were also really good: just the right amount of sweet, and bursting with juices.

Woohoo! Here we have "five flower" pork (still trying to figure out what part of the pig that is) kebab'd and smothered in scallions. REALLY juicy, really good: the scallions melded perfectly with oils from the pork to make a sort of sauce. Just look at the picture and you know it was good.

Whatever fish they had on had that day (apparently all their meats are bought fresh in the morning, so fish options depend on that day's catch), cooked to a beauuutiful golden color. Difficult to eat for all the bones (they made up like 30% of the total mass of the fish), but good.

This. Chicken. Was. SOOOOO juicy, oh my goodness. Very well cooked, approval all around.

And here we have an interesting garlic and clam soup, purported to help ladies (also gents) keep up some aspect of their health, or something. You know how it is. All the spiciness has been stewed out of the garlic cloves so you can eat them straight; they are soft and mildly potato-y, and will still make your breath smell the following morning. The soup tasted... sort of exactly how it looks in the picture. Kind of greyish. A little salty, a little garlicky. Not terrible. Still, any time someone tells you a certain dish is good for your health (or, even worse, your ladyhealth) you should be a little wary.

Noodles!!! Only I would end up with noodles at a kebab place. (It wasn't even me who ordered them!!!) I sort of wish they hadn't been smothered in that stinky Japanese dried shredded ham stuff, which wriggles like it's alive when put on top of any thing hot, but even as much as I dislike the stuff I still liked the noodles. I don't know if that says more about this restaurant or my love of noodles... The sauce was thick and smoky, as were the noodles. Nice.

Last up, and on one plate because I was tired of taking pictures, we have pork wrapped around mochi again and chicken balls with an egg yolk dipping sauce. I think the mochi pork was an improvement on that of Dashoushao, mostly because the pork was thicker and juicier. The mochi itself was still pretty flavorless (though chewy as always!). 

The chicken balls were really entertaining--before eating them you mix up the sauce in the bowl and roll them around in it--but tasted mostly like chicken meatloaf. Juicy chicken meatloaf, but chicken meatloaf nonetheless. This is partly because they included bits of ground up "soft bones" for texture. So if you think you would be into that, great!

Unfortunately, this place is also realll damned expensive. IF, however, one were--for the sake of objectivity--to discount the price as well as the fact that one (personally) is not a huge fan of eating tons of meat at a time, I think--objectively--it is pretty close to a perfect version of what it wants to be. An interesting, fun, and delicious dining experience. Highly recommended.

OVERALL RATING: 4/5